What’s worse: missing out on irreplaceable moments to avoid debt or overspending and dealing with the financial repercussions later?
It’s a tough question, but it’s one that many of my fellow Gen Zers have faced recently.
Roughly 43% of working Americans, including 59% of Gen Z and 54% of millennials, say they were forced to miss out on events, product purchases or services/repairs in the past six months because they were waiting on a paycheck, according to a survey by fintech company Chime. Another 43% of working Gen Z and 37% of working Millennials anticipate being forced to miss out in the next six months.
Among those who missed out on events, 45% have missed out on a gathering with friends or family. Dinner or drinks with friends, family holiday gatherings and birthdays were the most common events people missed out on.
On the flip side are those who spend more than they can afford to not miss out, then later regret it. Nearly half of millennials have spent money they didn’t have in order to keep up with friends, a 2019 survey by Credit Karma found, and 47% of them said it left them with guilt. In the past six months, 45% of working Americans have used a credit card to avoid missing out, according to the Chime survey. And with average credit card interest rates currently hovering around 20%, fighting the fear of missing out with debt can be expensive.
As a personal finance writer who scrimped and saved for over a year to fund a backpacking trip around the world, I know what it’s like to grapple with FOMO and spending restraints. Here’s how I avoid missing out without falling into a debt trap.
FOMO and financial strain can be worse coming out of the holidays
CNET’s holiday shopping survey found that approximately 1 in 4 holiday shoppers planned to use either a Buy Now, Pay Later plan or a credit card to finance holiday purchases last year. Overall, 72% of shoppers said they would make financial sacrifices or tradeoffs to afford the holiday season.
If you overspent this holiday season and you’re looking to get back on track, battling FOMO can make it even more difficult to stick to your financial goals. You might be tempted to swing to either side of the pendulum — either ignoring your debt and splurging so you don’t miss out on any social events or skipping meaningful meetups to avoid overspending.
While financial limitations may mean you have to make some difficult tradeoffs, you can still find ways to enjoy special moments with friends and family without ruining your budget. Here are my top tips:
👋 Take the lead on making affordable plans
Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re chatting with your friends when someone suggests getting dinner and drinks to catch up. One friend recommends a ritzy bar and a few others eagerly agree. Before you can look up the restaurant’s prices, your friends are already solidifying their plans. You don’t want to be left out, so you go and put the expenses on your credit card.
The pressure to spend to maintain social relationships can hurt your financial goals. Credit Karma found that 44% of millennials felt pressured to overspend to keep up with friends because they feared missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and 41% were afraid of being excluded from future activities.
A big lesson I learned about friendship as a young adult is that most of my peers aren’t trying to be deliberately exclusive. Often, they just run with the first idea proposed and might forget to be mindful (or just aren’t knowledgeable) about others’ financial circumstances. Proactively inviting your friends on budget-friendly hangouts before they can suggest something expensive ensures you don’t have to choose between missing out on meaningful moments and breaking your budget.
If you regularly find yourself getting strung along on unaffordable outings, try taking the lead on making group plans that are within your budget. You can find many free or low-cost ways to spend time with friends and family year-round. Check for free community events or performances in your area (your local news or library are great places to state your search). You could also organize a hiking trip or offer to host a potluck dinner party where everyone contributes a dish.
🗣 Don’t be afraid to be honest (but maybe not with everyone)
It’s 2025, but in many social settings, money is still a taboo topic. Only 38% of all US adults, 44% of Millennials and 52% of Gen Z feel comfortable discussing their bank account balance with family and close friends, according to a Bankrate survey. But the loud budgeting trend that took off in 2024 may be a sign that social norms are shifting.
If you have to make difficult money decisions, don’t be afraid to be honest with your loved ones so they can understand where you’re coming from. If you know your friends and family wouldn’t want you to miss out because of money, being upfront about your budgetary limitations may help them find ways to accommodate you.
I get it — it can be hard to be vulnerable about your finances, particularly if you appear successful on the surface. You might prefer to suffer in silence rather than “burden” others with your needs. But remember, the people who truly care about you wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your financial health for their sake. And if someone close to you is pushing you to do so, it may be time to reexamine that relationship.
On the other hand, you don’t need to bare your finances to every casual acquaintance. If you need to decline an invitation or request from someone you’re not close to for financial reasons, a polite “sorry, I can’t” will suffice, no further explanation needed.
✂️ Cutting corners is better than missing out, sometimes
FOMO tricks our brains into thinking something is an all-or-nothing choice, but there are often compromises to be found.
Say you didn’t get to see your family during the holidays because airfare was too expensive. If you’re not tied to a particular date, you may be able to afford the trip by planning it a few months out, when travel costs may be lower. Also, consider alternative transportation like driving or taking a train instead of flying.
In situations like these, I always ask myself three questions:
- What corners can I cut to make the cost fit my budget?
- What are my non-negotiables, and does the compromise jeopardize them?
- What will this compromise require me to give up, and is it worth the money I’m saving?
Not all compromises are worth it, and sometimes, it’s better to forgo a half-hearted attempt and save the money for the full experience in the future. But if you can cut some corners without losing what really matters, it might save you from having to choose between missing out altogether or spending money you don’t have.
❤️ Show you care without spending a lot
Missing out sucks when it’s something you were looking forward to, but it feels even worse when you’re also worried about disappointing others. Luckily, there are ways to show your loved ones you care without breaking the bank to attend every gathering or purchase expensive birthday or holiday presents.
Small but thoughtful gestures — like a handwritten card with a heartfelt note — can mean a lot to the recipient without costing the sender much. If you can’t visit in person, you can still spend time with your loved ones virtually or send a message to tell them you’re thinking of them.
By finding free but frequent ways to show your loved ones you care, you might be less fearful of “missing out” on the opportunities that do cost money because your relationships are already on a strong foundation.
💰 Build a sinking fund to avoid missing out in the future
One of my favorite strategies to avoid missing out is a general-purpose sinking fund. Unlike a goal-specific savings fund or an emergency fund, which should be reserved for unexpected essentialexpenses, my sinking fund operates more like a general slush fund.
Any extra money I can put away each month goes into my sinking fund (in a high-yield savings account because more money from interest means more money to spend), which I pull from for unplanned but nonessential expenses.
Spontaneous outing with friends? Use the sinking fund. Last-minute travel? Sinking fund.
I give myself carte blanche to spend from the fund without guilt, but once that money is gone, I’m done making any nonessential purchases until I replenish it. My contributions to my sinking fund come after I pay for my essential expenses every month, and I’m also careful to keep my emergency fund and sinking fund separate.
Having a sinking fund for discretionary spending stops me from overspending. I find it psychologically helpful to have all of my discretionary money go into a separate account. Pulling from my sinking fund forces me to think about whether an expense is really worth it since draining my fund might cause me to miss out on something potentially better down the line.
How to build a sinking fund
Don’t let FOMO rule your life — or wallet
Fear of missing out is tough, and being forced to miss out in reality can feel even worse. You might be experiencing a high level of FOMO right now as everyone around you or on social media shares the highlights of their holidays and sets resolutions for what an “ideal” 2025 should look like.
While your circumstances might constrain some of your options (for example, skipping a family vacation because you need to pay your bills), you do have some control over where your money goes. Instead of focusing entirely on what I’m missing out on, I like to remind myself why I made a particular decision or sacrifice. Maybe it’s so you can start the new year without guilt or debt, or maybe it’s so you can put your money towards another important goal.
No one can tell you the “right” choice when it comes to your money, but there are ways to make better choices in any given situation. This means thoughtfully evaluating all your options, considering both the short term and the long term impacts and not rushing into a course of action because of fear, social pressure or other external influences.
Taking ownership of your money choices — even small ones — is its own kind of power.